5 Steps From „Big Mind, Big Heart“ To Access Your Inner Selves So That You Can Find Inner Balance (Without Overthinking It).

It doesn‘t take too much self-awareness for you to understand how complex you are: your understanding of „yourself“ is in actual fact a synthesis of many selves.

The moment you become aware of this, you realize that to:

• meet your inner master 👩‍🎓,

• truly understand your inner victim 🥹,

• or hear your inner seeker 👩🏼‍🚀,

would mean to have a highway to inner peace, true power, satisfaction, and joy.

Here are 5 steps and insights to access those inner selves.

Our many selves are in relationship and in conflict with each other.

This inner conflict is the reason why we don’t keep New Years resolutions, lose weight, or self-promote.

I once coached a Customer Success Manager that let clients roll all over her. Her people pleasing self was too afraid of insulting others out of fear that speaking up would end in people shunning her. Her non-people pleasing self however was tired of the extra work and wanted to be empowered to go after the customers with more potential.

The way forward for this CSM was to realize the game being played and create a dialogue.

First ask for permission from the Gatekeeper and give it a job.

Before starting the process, step into your Facilitator self 👨‍🏫 (or ask a real coach) to ask the Gatekeeper 💂‍♀️ for permission to start and line up all the selves that are present.

That inner Gatekeeper controls who has access to whom and needs to be distracted with a useful job so that the long lost parts of you can show up.

Power up and access the selves that are present right now.

The facilitator then asks who is present, asks each part who they are and what role do they play in life.

Perhaps it is the tired self 🥱 that shows up and wants some peace after working extra hours for a client who clearly needs to do their part? Tired self is extremely competent and has done everything they can to please. It now simply wants to rest, yet it is being made wrong by angry self 😡.

For every self there is an „opposite“ self.

Angry self wants something bigger and doesn‘t get to voice their opinion very often.

Now, angry self finally gets the chance: „I am here to remind you that we have a bigger dream for ourselves. You cannot keep pleasing clients instead of listening to me. I just want us to let go of this and denying ourselves. When will you stop?“

Never seek to deny or suppress an „unhelpful“ self.

You see, angry self is raising a red flag: integrity is at stake, there‘s no progress, and we have bigger things to do.

It is in these moments that the highest self 🧝‍♀️can be called upon for help. Highest self brings in the wisdom and tranquility that is needed to offer angry self more empowerment, that its message is heard and taken to heart. It is in this moment that angry self can step into a different role.

The process is simple.

In fact, it might sound too simple or silly for it to ever work? Now, who‘s speaking?

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